tter or am I going to drownd in the sea of overwhelming emotions of both the foster parent and kid? I have been questioning my own ability over the last few weeks. It is helping? Are they improving? Or am i being paid like many of the other workers out there to simply give the false hope that I am doing something positive for these kids. Who knows, i dont. Maybe I am a fraud, an educated no one who just follows books and research but yet has no real oppionions. Self doubt. Its a scary thing especially when you work to change lives of others. If i cant trust myself and my own abilities am i fit to work with these kids who need a strong role model? Self Doubt. I keeping thinking it will pass that I will wake up again and feel whole and compleate and full of confidence. Yet I am still waiting for that day, that morning when i know i am doing the best i can. Im looking at this picture and it is how I feel. I dont know up from down, where it is or where it ends, its just there. And yes before you ask where i got it. I took it.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Lost
So here it is. Yes I am stressed. There has been drama at work, so much that people expect me... ME to wave my magic wand and make it better. Im lost in this sea of wanting to make things better and needing to let go. So i turn to other things music, reading yet I am drawn back to the same question. Can I do it? Can I make things be
tter or am I going to drownd in the sea of overwhelming emotions of both the foster parent and kid? I have been questioning my own ability over the last few weeks. It is helping? Are they improving? Or am i being paid like many of the other workers out there to simply give the false hope that I am doing something positive for these kids. Who knows, i dont. Maybe I am a fraud, an educated no one who just follows books and research but yet has no real oppionions. Self doubt. Its a scary thing especially when you work to change lives of others. If i cant trust myself and my own abilities am i fit to work with these kids who need a strong role model? Self Doubt. I keeping thinking it will pass that I will wake up again and feel whole and compleate and full of confidence. Yet I am still waiting for that day, that morning when i know i am doing the best i can. Im looking at this picture and it is how I feel. I dont know up from down, where it is or where it ends, its just there. And yes before you ask where i got it. I took it.
tter or am I going to drownd in the sea of overwhelming emotions of both the foster parent and kid? I have been questioning my own ability over the last few weeks. It is helping? Are they improving? Or am i being paid like many of the other workers out there to simply give the false hope that I am doing something positive for these kids. Who knows, i dont. Maybe I am a fraud, an educated no one who just follows books and research but yet has no real oppionions. Self doubt. Its a scary thing especially when you work to change lives of others. If i cant trust myself and my own abilities am i fit to work with these kids who need a strong role model? Self Doubt. I keeping thinking it will pass that I will wake up again and feel whole and compleate and full of confidence. Yet I am still waiting for that day, that morning when i know i am doing the best i can. Im looking at this picture and it is how I feel. I dont know up from down, where it is or where it ends, its just there. And yes before you ask where i got it. I took it.
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