Ok, so i have had a lot of news today.
One, I am no longer going to Europe. I am not wanted and not going. end of story.
Two, my best friend of 20 years got engaged and bought a house with a guy who is 15 years older then i am and who i detest and didnt even tell me. I had to find out from a co-worker of hers... and this happened two months ago and i am just finding out now. I am hurt that she didnt tell me even though she said she wanted to "surprize" me.
Three I now know for sure that my relationship with my partner of 6 years is done and over with, as i should have known two months ago when we "took a break"
Four the guy i want to be with i can never be fully with because i can never, ever trust him again.
Five I still live with my parents while all my other friend are buying houses, getting married and living an adult life. I am here still in school with a part time job at 23 and feel like i am stuck.
When am i going to be an adult? What the hell is stoping me from moving out or buying a car or being in a relationship with someone my parents dont like.
Whats wrong with me and why am i so left behind?
Yes now i can hear the voices, "but you are getting a good education that will pay off in the future" yeah yeha so when all my friends are at dead end jobs i will be living the high life.. nice sure.. that great.. but when will i be an adult. and why the hell is this bothering me so much. Why do i feel like i am still a kid and watching all my freinds sail in to this new era of life. Am I that stuck that i am not moving in to adult hood? am i in crises and not able to move forward?
Ok so this is a pitty post, i recognize that. But right now I am hurt, bruised and feel like independence is beyond my reach.
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